with ever-changing tides

this is our first post of 2019.

so much happened in 2018 - we got engaged, alex‘s company is busier than ever, and i started a new job in a new industry. we were warmly welcomed into a new friend group, and noticed as our priorities shifted and the way we spent our time started to adjust to the new normal created by these pretty monumental changes. the basic fact is, our life looks very different than it did even four months ago.

we both prioritize work more now than we did before. our free time is spent wedding planning or desperately trying to find a balance between relaxing and maintaining our little home. baby lu got sick last month, and that has brought its own unique struggles. we also have really cherished our time with new friends, and definitely have been making that a priority as well.

last weekend, as we were getting ready to go to our friends’ valentine’s day gathering, alex looked at me and said “i just realized - we’re getting married! that is such is a big deal!” at the time i kind of nodded and chuckled like “yep, that’s true!” but i had my own moment on our way home from the party that night.

two couples in our friend group are moving out of chicago in the next few weeks, and i interpret that once again, things will shift. our priorities will change, and in a few months we will look fondly on these precious times spent with friends that have been unlike what we have previously experienced.

i was never really good with change until i got to know alex. he embraces uncertainty and change, and often seeks it out when things have been “the same” for too long. he moves our furniture every few months because he gets bored. he starts hobbies and projects all the time just because it’s something new to try. he loves spontaneity and has never really established much of a routine for himself, other than his twice-daily mediation sessions. from him, i have learned to accept and appreciate change and evolution. i have learned that being uncomfortable and trying new things are the key to a good life.

last week, on our way home from our friends’ house, i was mulling over the fact that this was probably the last time we will all be together for, at the very least, a long time. i had a moment of mourning for this joyous season of friendship and community that has been so easy and simple and pure. but then i looked over at alex and felt gratitude wash over me for the mere fact that i have a best friend for life. despite these ever-changing tides, these drastic shifts and changes that seem to occur more often than not these days, i have someone else in my boat who will make sure we not only stay afloat, but that we are also continuously rowing toward living a life that is aligned with our values and priorities - as what that means is ever-evolving.

i am also excited to shift back and pick up on some projects that have fallen by the wayside. there are some projects we haven’t even announced, and so many things we’d like to make together. we want to get back to working on the house, making videos, and can’t wait to get back outside and enjoy summer together. we’ve been trying to forgive ourselves for neglecting this space because of the wedding, and i have 100% made that concession and commitment because i want our sweet celebration to be as abundant and beautiful and seamless as possible. but it’s also hard when much of our quality time the past two years has been driven by this blog.

in these moments of being pulled in so many directions, with too many priorities to count, with too many passions i can’t devote time to, and with too many friends i won’t get to see every week, i find solace in my one constant - my one person who tethers me while riding the waves with me. the one who reminds me what is most important on this journey, and that most things aren’t as urgent or dire or crucial as they seem in my overwhelmed mind. everything in life has a season - priorities and people come in and out of focus, but i am so incredibly grateful that he will always remain.