my personal new year

this week marks the start of my new year. tuesday, september 19, was my birthday. and wednesday, september 20, is the start of rosh hashanah, the jewish new year. rosh hashanah and yom kippur, also known as the high holidays, have always been important for my family. they've also become increasingly important for me as a spiritual individual in the past couple of years, particularly in the past two.

i love being able to take two days for each holiday and just reflect on the year that is ending. what have i done that's made me proud? happy, or excited? have i followed my passions? did i make strides in a direction that i want to keep following? am i satisfied with the changes i've made? it's also important to ask the tougher, less positive questions. like, what do i wish i had done differently? were there situations that i could have handled with more grace and compassion?

i think all these questions lead me to two central themes: am i being the best version of myself? am i putting my energy toward things and people that i am passionate about, thus putting me on a path that will lead to fulfillment and contentment and balance?

i feel blessed to say that every year i have gained a bit more clarity and insight into what my path will hopefully look like, and after two years of trying to follow the current, i feel like my direction and my end goal are starting to take shape. i've spent the past three years working to understand what it is i care about, and now it's about putting in the work to make those things real.

i really do believe that this year will be the best yet. the wheels have just started to move, and i can't wait to see what happens when i step on the accelerator.

as a side note, i signed up for a service called 10q. they send you a question a day for the 10 days of awe, which in judaism includes every day from the start of rosh hashanah until the end of yom kippur. after the holidays are over, they save your answers until next year, when they email them back to you. i just answered my first question, and can't wait to further reflect using this beautiful service.

update: truthfully, i only answered the first four questions. i did, however, take a lot of time to reflect on this past year and to remind myself that i only want to continue to improve, to grow, and to continually become more of who i am. alex used to say to me all the time when we first started dating that he couldn't wait for me to become the person that he knew i could be. at first, i was a little offended - like, how is who i am now not good enough? but when i reflect on the past five years, i have a perspective of understanding that i didn't before - and i see what he means. i am more self-confident, more aware, more fulfilled, more creative, and more excited than i have ever been. every year i get a little closer to being completely who i am - and it's such an exciting journey. i don't know how he saw and understood my future and myself much more clearly than i ever could, but i am grateful for who i am becoming every single day. and i can't wait to see who i am on my next birthday, my next rosh hashanah.

may we all have a sweet new year of self-discovery, joy, and love ahead of us.