quality time

what is quality time?

when we first started dating we used to get coffee and go out to eat all the time. any extra seconds in the day were spent together, even if we were working on schoolwork side-by-side it still felt special. we felt like we had quality time together all of the time. our time together has changed a lot in the years we have spent together, and in the past year especially it has seemed increasingly more challenging to find that "quality" time that we were so accustomed to and therefore crave.

since both of us started working full-time, somewhat "normal" jobs, we have constantly discussed how we feel a struggle to find and recognize quality time we spend with each other. I often work at least one weekend day per week, and Alex can only occasionally take weekdays off. We don't accumulate as many days together as we'd like - therefore we have to settle for a couple hours in the evenings on days when I'm done with work at 5, and find ways to cherish the days we do have together - even if they are comprised of mundane tasks such as laundry or grocery shopping.

in addition, we also have to battle with unrealistic expectations for the days we do spend together. We want to cram as much fun stuff in as possible, and I always want to be productive around the house, so this puts us in a challenging spot where one of us often feels let down. This is especially true in the winter, when it isn't super fun to be outside. I think over the past couple of months we have started to manage our expectations better, which I think means we are adjusting the understanding of how many things we can feasibly fit unto a day. Not every day together is going to be magical and important and thrilling - and even though logically we know that, sometimes we still feel an emptiness after a day together. We don't take many vacations together because we don't have a lot of money, and it's hard for me to get time off to do so.

we definitely don't yet know what quality time together looks like for us now, but i have a feeling the answer lies in just relaxing. it's okay to have a day at home and clean and do laundry. we just need to cherish & appreciate the moments we do have together.